When I was born, ten years of Chinese Culture Revolution just ended. China was pretty much at the brink of getting rotten. Most commoners literally were living next to nothing. I grew up with very limited material and intellectual resources, despite the fact that I was the only child in the family. I was ignorant, without a doubt, and I was a happy kid. I was happy because I was doing well in school. I was happy that I could help my parents with house work so they could do less. I was happy that we were doing better than many of our neighbors because my parents are very smart and hardworking. I do not remember anything that really bothered me: no toys, no books, no cute dresses, not knowing anything about the big world - hey, I did not know why I needed those, or perhaps I even did not know the existence of those, so I was not bothered. How lucky I was to be ignorant under that circumstance! Ignorance is bliss, indeed.
With me continuously doing well in school, not surprisingly I kept walking into a bigger and bigger world. Nothing was planned, because I did not have the necessary vision to plan anything this "grand", nor did my parents. Again, ignorance is bliss - Without either my parents or myself or anybody in the world expecting me to achieve much, I never had much of a pressure, but only constantly reap pleasant surprises that I actually could do better.
Luckily that I grew up in China where schools actually value academic performance, and I did not need to dodge flying daggers such as drugs, bullies, teen sex, racial / background discrimination, so on and so forth. To be honest, I was not even aware of those prevalent school issues in US until not too long ago. Call me ignorant. And I am happy I was.
Because I was a good kid, I was always appointed/elected a major student leader. Starting from very early on I was given the opportunities to (oh that's too rosy a description - I confess many times "was pushed to" suits the reality better) deliver a speech in front of the whole school, to command group exercises, to participate debate teams, to run a school broadcast station, to run a student government, to make up rules, to pull together a basketball team and a soccer team out of the only 11 girls in my class,... so I did not become a typical nerd.
At the same time, I enjoyed good relationship with many people, and I helped many with my wide-spread connections. More importantly, I have always been satisfied with myself that I have been ethical, honest, and generous. In terms of money, I am rarely concerned. With my upbringing, I know I do not need much to survive and I do not need luxury although that is good to have; with my competency, I never worry that I would not be able to make a living. The fore-mentioned three conditions, I think, are pivotal in determining most people's happiness level. Well, sometimes I did lament that I was not as pretty as I desired. However, I often had admirers who were either the most handsome and/or the most competent, so with that little vanity as compensation, it was easy to shrug off my dissatisfaction with my looks, not to even mention that I actually was not enthusiastic at all about dating until really late.
My friend Y, when discussing happiness, said that "it's delta that matters, not the absolute value". Delta, is a mathematical jargon, means difference. In this context, there is delta between reality and expectation, delta between now and before, and delta between one and one's neighbors. I agree, that's a fact for many people, and many times, that's also the very fact that put us into the abyss of unhappiness, which will be elaborated in later chapters.
Nonetheless, I was pumped quite high in spirit by all three deltas : I was doing better than my expectation, I was doing better every day than the previous day, and as far as my then limited world spaned, I was doing better than most of my peers.
With me going through one of the best high schools and one of the best universities in China, it's a bit surprising that all the intellectual pain attacks pretty much shunned clear by at least a 3-mile radius from me, although I read and felt "blue" sometimes. Not a single reason occurred to me to cause serious unhappiness. I, today, do not know what to comment on that. Yes, that was ignorant happiness existing on the fact that I did not know more. But honestly I doubt I would beg to alter such a nice and easy period, to suffer more in order to deepen and enrich myself. If, if there were if's in life, that could last forever, I would no doubt be a princess in the fairy tale of "living happily every after".
However, nature has its own way to unfold things, and perhaps we humans are genetically wired to break fairy tales of that sort.
With me continuously doing well in school, not surprisingly I kept walking into a bigger and bigger world. Nothing was planned, because I did not have the necessary vision to plan anything this "grand", nor did my parents. Again, ignorance is bliss - Without either my parents or myself or anybody in the world expecting me to achieve much, I never had much of a pressure, but only constantly reap pleasant surprises that I actually could do better.
Luckily that I grew up in China where schools actually value academic performance, and I did not need to dodge flying daggers such as drugs, bullies, teen sex, racial / background discrimination, so on and so forth. To be honest, I was not even aware of those prevalent school issues in US until not too long ago. Call me ignorant. And I am happy I was.
Because I was a good kid, I was always appointed/elected a major student leader. Starting from very early on I was given the opportunities to (oh that's too rosy a description - I confess many times "was pushed to" suits the reality better) deliver a speech in front of the whole school, to command group exercises, to participate debate teams, to run a school broadcast station, to run a student government, to make up rules, to pull together a basketball team and a soccer team out of the only 11 girls in my class,... so I did not become a typical nerd.
At the same time, I enjoyed good relationship with many people, and I helped many with my wide-spread connections. More importantly, I have always been satisfied with myself that I have been ethical, honest, and generous. In terms of money, I am rarely concerned. With my upbringing, I know I do not need much to survive and I do not need luxury although that is good to have; with my competency, I never worry that I would not be able to make a living. The fore-mentioned three conditions, I think, are pivotal in determining most people's happiness level. Well, sometimes I did lament that I was not as pretty as I desired. However, I often had admirers who were either the most handsome and/or the most competent, so with that little vanity as compensation, it was easy to shrug off my dissatisfaction with my looks, not to even mention that I actually was not enthusiastic at all about dating until really late.
My friend Y, when discussing happiness, said that "it's delta that matters, not the absolute value". Delta, is a mathematical jargon, means difference. In this context, there is delta between reality and expectation, delta between now and before, and delta between one and one's neighbors. I agree, that's a fact for many people, and many times, that's also the very fact that put us into the abyss of unhappiness, which will be elaborated in later chapters.
Nonetheless, I was pumped quite high in spirit by all three deltas : I was doing better than my expectation, I was doing better every day than the previous day, and as far as my then limited world spaned, I was doing better than most of my peers.
With me going through one of the best high schools and one of the best universities in China, it's a bit surprising that all the intellectual pain attacks pretty much shunned clear by at least a 3-mile radius from me, although I read and felt "blue" sometimes. Not a single reason occurred to me to cause serious unhappiness. I, today, do not know what to comment on that. Yes, that was ignorant happiness existing on the fact that I did not know more. But honestly I doubt I would beg to alter such a nice and easy period, to suffer more in order to deepen and enrich myself. If, if there were if's in life, that could last forever, I would no doubt be a princess in the fairy tale of "living happily every after".
However, nature has its own way to unfold things, and perhaps we humans are genetically wired to break fairy tales of that sort.
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