For no particular reason, this topic of competitiveness came into my mind. I remember during the past several years I was commented as being competitive for a few times, at a pingpong game, or a pool game, or a tennis game, or a video game, or even a push-up race... and 100% time it's a man who made such a comment. I suppose when a man said that to me, it's not the most pleasant feeling he wanted to share with me. I am actually a bit confused why I was called competitive to begin with, and then what is wrong if I try my best to win a game.
I checked the dictionary just now, and the relevant definition for competitiveness is
Liking competition or inclined to compete
To be honest, when it comes to tennis or pingpong, I have rarely favored a competitive game over a non-competitive one, simply because I can enjoy so much better by hitting freely without running around too much to exhaust myself. Almost always I got involved in a competitive game passively. Well, other games, such as pool, or board game, simply cannot be played collaboratively. Therefore, I do not understand why I can be called competitive to begin with.
Must be because I like to give all I have to play a game then. True that I make sure I play with my best. That is not about winding up on top, nor about eliminating the opponent, but about to be the best one can be. Besides, I think it also shows my respect to the opponent (who enjoys being patronized, or, playing with an absent-minded opponent?); what's more, I think it's the only way to make the game more fun, and make the time spent worthwhile (is there anybody who enjoys playing/watching a tennis game where most of time is spent on picking up balls, or, where one player completely crushes the other?). But I never hold grudge if I lose, and always sincerely congratulate my opponent if he wins, and almost never miss a chance to praise any of his good shot/move. I will appear disappointed if I have a bad shot/move, but even if I play golf alone, or if I cannot master a piece of music on piano, or cannot program a function beautifully at work, I will have the exactly same reaction - I will be disappointed and gather more of my energy and intelligence next round or next half an hour.
If giving one's best is called "competitive" - hail competitiveness!!
However, to me, there are two kinds of failures : one is after trying all one can, and another is after little action or half-hearted action. I would accept the former with serenity, the latter with regret, even though I do not want to dwell on results in either case.
When it comes to a game, I care enough to play my best, and I am fit enough to accept a loss with serenity. When it comes to life, I strive to be the best that I can and try not to be too attached to the outcome.
Living this philosophy for most of my life, I am delighted that I have been competent (which feels good, by the way), with plenty of joy and enthusiasm. I believe competition, and more precisely, the efforts made to win the competition, propel an individual, a team, a company, an industry, a society, and the entire human advance, while collective wimpiness and non-competitiveness stale a community, and reduce an individual to mediocrity. I hope "to keep the fingers crossed" is not the only resort one has when confronted with a challenge.
I checked the dictionary just now, and the relevant definition for competitiveness is
Liking competition or inclined to compete
To be honest, when it comes to tennis or pingpong, I have rarely favored a competitive game over a non-competitive one, simply because I can enjoy so much better by hitting freely without running around too much to exhaust myself. Almost always I got involved in a competitive game passively. Well, other games, such as pool, or board game, simply cannot be played collaboratively. Therefore, I do not understand why I can be called competitive to begin with.
Must be because I like to give all I have to play a game then. True that I make sure I play with my best. That is not about winding up on top, nor about eliminating the opponent, but about to be the best one can be. Besides, I think it also shows my respect to the opponent (who enjoys being patronized, or, playing with an absent-minded opponent?); what's more, I think it's the only way to make the game more fun, and make the time spent worthwhile (is there anybody who enjoys playing/watching a tennis game where most of time is spent on picking up balls, or, where one player completely crushes the other?). But I never hold grudge if I lose, and always sincerely congratulate my opponent if he wins, and almost never miss a chance to praise any of his good shot/move. I will appear disappointed if I have a bad shot/move, but even if I play golf alone, or if I cannot master a piece of music on piano, or cannot program a function beautifully at work, I will have the exactly same reaction - I will be disappointed and gather more of my energy and intelligence next round or next half an hour.
If I am interested in certain games, I do not only play my best when there is a competition, I also practice when I can. One time in our group outing, I was practicing pool shots on my own while most others were bowling. One coworker said "wow, Juhua is competitive". My boss Peter defended me right there "it's not that Juhua wants to win, she wants to play better to enjoy the game more". It feels good to be understood, doesn't it?! By now, I still suck in shooting pool, which means I am often defeated although sometimes I have dumb luck, but I am always keen to play, I enjoy it, and I play with my full attention and enthusiasm. When my opponent is superior, I ask for tips and coaching, and I do feel concerned that the game might bore him, which motivates me to be better at it.
If giving one's best is called "competitive" - hail competitiveness!!
Since my childhood I have been adopting this Chinese saying as one of my life philosophy : man proposes and god disposes; In other words, we shall try our best, then hope for the best, and ready for the worst, with peace. Especially after my Buddhism study these years, I view clinging to the outcome, positive or negative, is a self-defeating behavior (more on this topic in my future Buddhism posts).
However, to me, there are two kinds of failures : one is after trying all one can, and another is after little action or half-hearted action. I would accept the former with serenity, the latter with regret, even though I do not want to dwell on results in either case.
When it comes to a game, I care enough to play my best, and I am fit enough to accept a loss with serenity. When it comes to life, I strive to be the best that I can and try not to be too attached to the outcome.
Living this philosophy for most of my life, I am delighted that I have been competent (which feels good, by the way), with plenty of joy and enthusiasm. I believe competition, and more precisely, the efforts made to win the competition, propel an individual, a team, a company, an industry, a society, and the entire human advance, while collective wimpiness and non-competitiveness stale a community, and reduce an individual to mediocrity. I hope "to keep the fingers crossed" is not the only resort one has when confronted with a challenge.
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